Hey God – I Quit!!

I know what you are thinking! Colleen, you are one of the authors of the Overcomers, Inc. book just released this week. You cannot quit. You do not quit. Well, I am here to let you know that quitting can turn out to be a very good thing.

In fact, failure may just prove that you are being successful. When I began writing this story, I was so frustrated I decided to have a bit of a "chat" with God. For me, visualizing Jesus and loved one's that passed on is quite easy.

I have gotten a lot of practice with these visualizations and can literally "feel" while experiencing them. For example, I often escape to my version of heaven and can feel the green grass tickling along the bottom of my bare feet.

I can feel Jesus' hand touch my hand while we walk together and exchange our thoughts. I can feel the pressure of my mom's chest pressed against mine in our ever tight "hugs" when we see each other in the garden.

Most of the time, I feel as though I am watching a movie unfold and I'm one of the cast. However, when exchange of energy is present, than I am able to feel it pulsate through my body.

On this trip to my garden, I was prepared to tell God I'm done. In fact, this time in my visualization, I reached for the almighty white phone! You know how you always see the "red phone" as connected to the top authority figure, right?

Well, since I was dealing with heaven, my phone was white. I lifted up the receiver and sure enough, St. Peter answers. I say Hello St. Peter is that you? He replies, "Yes, Colleen. To what do I owe this wonderful blessing of hearing your voice today?"

I blush and return with "Let God know I quit." St. Peter replies with the usual heavenly rhetoric but I won't give in. I know its really not rhetorical banter but in my state of mind it sounds like it because I have decided to not listen. I requested the car come to pick me up immediately.

I could have just thought my way there but I really enjoy my cloud car. I hang the phone, walk to my front door, open the door and poof there is my cloud car. Now, I have been on this obsession with Jags lately, so I opt for a beautiful top of the line Jaguar.

Cherubs rush to open the door of my car as I move closer to it. I thank them, begrudgingly, as I am still very cranky. Once I sit inside my cloud car, I know a little piece of heaven has touched me. Aaaaah! I sigh loudly as if I just finished the longest, toughest triathalon on the planet.

I feel instantly rejuvinated and thankful for this time of rest. Within a heartbeat, we are at heaven's gates. I do not particularly like heaven's gates. I prefer the solitude of my garden. I guess since I made a special request I am to be enthralled with love and laughter at the gates.

If that does not work, the big guns are pulled in. So here we go. I am escorted through the gates with St. Peter at my side announcing my arrival. You would have thought Princess Diana just showed up. I am overwhelmed with love , acceptance and joy.

But wait, I will not fall for this anymore, I say to myself. I am tired and enough is enough. This will not work this time. St. Peter can sense my ego has taken over – way over. I am then presented with Jesus who is always my personal choice for comfort and represents "heaven" to me.

As I smile and cry just upon seeing Jesus, my tears seem to flow like raging rivers. Too much with too little room to flow. After a good cry and several hugs, Jesus removes my hands from my face and smiles. He shakes his head and begins to chuckle.

In a manner that speaks "My, my, my, Colleen. You never cease to amaze me." In a good way, though. Here I am thinking I totally let Him down again and messed up big time. Nope. Just the opposite. "But I don't understand?" I say to Him. "How can all my failures be seen as such triumphs to you?" Jesus begins to let out a hearty laugh like responding to a great joke! Hey? wait a minute, I think.

Is He laughing at me, now? Come on already! But no! He lovingly replies, "Colleen, you only need to BE." To which I reply, "Okay. So what does that mean? Not much of a blueprint for a successful life or business, is it?

I need a little more to go on here, please." In one breath, our heavenly gates are transformed into our special garden. Now that is more like it I say to myself. Jesus is laughing again. I am so glad I provide Him with great entertainment.

My eyes begin to take in the beautiful sights, sounds and smells of our garden. I look down and change my earthly clothes into more of a mother nature, Roman Goddess attire with no shoes. I begin to feel light hearted, laughing and giggling around the garden.

I run to our favorite place which is a beautiful river. We sit together on the river's edge, feet splashing in the water, laughing about nothing. Anything I choose to think about is instantly created for me. Of course, I have what looks to be a scene straight from Snow White shaping into form.

There's birds, deer, puppies, lions, tigers, bears (no oh my as they are all cuddly) and many more animals around us. I am at peace. Jesus looks at me as if to say .. hold that thought .. you just answered your own question. I look at him. "What?," I say. I think back over what I just thought to myself, "I am at peace." Jesus restates his earlier comment, "you just need to BE." "Oh," I say. So to "BE" means to be at peace?," I ask. "For some," He replies. "For others, to "BE" may mean different things but all good," He says. Jesus begins helping me understand why I am at peace with Him in our garden and how I can BE all the time. Stay tuned for part 2………

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