Well, it is almost back-to-school for our children. Some schools will be opening doors in August across our country. Others will start after Labor Day. The one thing they all have in common is homework. For those students who do get homework, this can be the most stressful time of the day. For families dealing with these students, this can be the time of day that you wish never occurred.
Moms will find themselves up against a child that presents like an oppositional one. Moms and/or dads will raise their voices, some will challenge and yet others will flat out punish their child that presents oppositional towards homework time.
Although parents can google and find hundreds of articles about homework time. All of the articles will most likely tell you how to set up an area for your child to do homework, void of distractions, be sure to have ample supplies in this area, set up a routine for your family and most of all, have patience.
What these articles won't do is help you survive and even overcome the horrid homework sessions. In fact, homework sessions will become independent and fun. Does that sound like a dream to you?
We will begin exploring homework sessions, why they are challenging for some and down right avoided – at all costs – by others. You will begin to understand and even manage your child's homework sessions to eventually lend to overcoming them.
Let's begin. This is week 1 of several week's of pertinent information that will help you, as a parent, take more responsibility towards your child's learning and homework.
For those parents in desperate need of surviving homework sessions, I want to give you some compensatory strategies to keep you moving forward and getting the homework sessions completed while you are learning how to overcome them.
Step 1: When your child begins to avoid homework and procrastinates in starting the homework until the very last possible moment, you need to understand that there is a real reason other than avoidance of homework at play here. Unless your child is perfectly fine, even gifted, and is bored with homework, your child is most likely avoiding it because it is difficult.
For now, your end goal as a parent is to get the homework completed with as little stress as possible while gathering as much information from your child as possible. You will become a detective, skilled at observing your child's mannerisms and responses when working through homework together.
For students that are older and refuse to even allow you to observe, you need to negotiate with them to get your answers. Literally offer them a free pass at something in return for writing you a list of 10 things or less that you hate about doing homework. If you get this much from them, you are off to a great start!
For younger students who will gladly let you sit with them or at least observe them attempting homework, your job is to observe and watch for the following behaviors:
- For math homework
- observe if the homework is on a worksheet or in a workbook
- observe how many equations/problems are on one page
- observe when your child's frustrations start —
- does your child get frustrated when the page is presented?
- does your child get frustrated after starting on the page of work?
- does your child get frustrated while involved in showing the work to solve the problem?
- does your child get frustrated if you begin to "talk" them through the problem?
- does your child only get frustrated on word problems (maybe trying to read/understand them)?
- does your child get frustrated when the page is presented?
- For managing the frustration - observe any change in your child's behavior when you
- only show one equation at a time by covering up the page with extra piece of paper
- use a whiteboard to actively engage your child to solve the problem using a marker and eraser (its like playing but uses different cognitive skills)
- use manipulative to actively engage the solving of the problem (helps your child visualize what the problem is asking)
- use a number line on the table for those students who have not mastered number facts yet (alleviates memory and/or processing speed weaknesses)
- provide your child with down time during the homework session (allow your child to work for 10 minutes, if possible and then break for 10 min)
- only show one equation at a time by covering up the page with extra piece of paper
- observe if the homework is on a worksheet or in a workbook
- For spelling homework
- observe if the spelling words are on a worksheet, word ring or in a textbook
- observe how many words your child is being requested to memorize and spell
- observe when your child's frustrations start–
- does your child get frustrated when you start "asking" how to spell a word?
- does your child get frustrated when looking at the list of words to remember?
- does your child get frustrated when trying to "verbalize" the spelling of the words?
- does your child get frustrated when "listening" to you read words and often asks you to repeat them?
- does your child get frustrated when having to "write" the spelling words on paper?
- does your child get frustrated when you start "asking" how to spell a word?
- For managing the frustration- observe any change in your child's behavior when you
- only show one word at a time by covering up all the other words on the page using an extra piece of paper
- use a whiteboard to engage and play a game — play hangman, for example using the spelling words
- use index cards and make 2 cards of the same word. let your child play matching game
- use a computer and have your child type the correct spelling of the words
- have your child close their eyes and use skywriting – they use their finger and point to each letter in the sky in the word in the correct order as they spell the word.
- have your child use different colored ink for each letter of the word when writing it on paper (if allowed by teacher)
- have your child throw a ball to you as they spell the word out loud
- only show one word at a time by covering up all the other words on the page using an extra piece of paper
- observe if the spelling words are on a worksheet, word ring or in a textbook
Just understand as a parent, there are many ways that you can manage the homework session successfully while improving your relationship with your child, too. Once you can find a way to lessen the frustration, stick with that approach for now. The homework gets done correctly and neatly while the two of you are having a blast.
It is a matter of knowing what to do and what not do under certain circumstances. It is also very important to understand what weak skills your child is suffering from so you are well prepared before homework sessions resume for the upcoming school year.
Please do yourself and your child a favor and purchase the online assessment today. You will get immediate results on the screen and understand exactly why your child is struggling with homework and what options you can take to help your child overcome the weaknesses.
Even if you do not opt to overcome the weaknesses, you will be armed with many "AH HA" moments to better manage the daily homework sessions. Stay tuned for next week's continued article on homework meltdowns and strategies to overcome them.
